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The Villagers in Naruto are BIGOTS

So in Anime fashion, we’ve reached another set of filler episodes (which I KINDA don’t get since the manga is done and has been done HOWEVER, I don’t complain about fillers. I want the show to last forever. I’m desperate. I’ll take a 30 episode filler about Neji or Itachi, I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care).

Spoiler Alert:

infinite

These current fillers focus on Madara’s Infinite Tsukuyomi and what each character is dreaming. We’ve already seen Tenzo’s, Killer B, and TenTen (Neji is alive and all touchy feely with her I LIVE!). Now we seem to be the dream of Tsuande. It’s an alternate universe (based of Jiraya’s stories) where Minato is still the Fourth Hokage, Kushina is still alive, and Naruto has grown up with both of his parents. However, he is still the Jinchuriki, and is still a hyperactive, loudmouth brat with a slap and tickle with kunai frenemy relationship with Sasuke (as well as his crush on Sakura). Their friendship is more begrudging respect, and it even shows the affection (although hardboiled and rough around the edges) that Sasuke has for Naruto. Everything is the same, except a step to the right, in what you would think would have bee the ideal world for Naruto.

Except that line of thinking is wrong.

Guess what’s still the EXACT EXACT EXACT the same, tho? The village prejudice. This prejudice has even sneaked its way into the ranks of the Konoha 11, causing Shikamaru and Choji, of all people, to distance themselves from Naruto.Outside of my great horror that Shikamaru and Choji of all people have adopted this position, it allowed me to see one thing.

The villagers, on a whole, are not worth shit.

In the very first episode of this dream, we see, as mentioned, an energetic, ambitious Naruto. He runs along the roof with a huge smile on his face, excited with the possibility that his next mission will be a S-ranked one. Nothing about Naruto presents as a threat. He has never lost control of Karuma, there has been no an attack on the village WITH Naruto as a Jinchuuriki. He’s never hurt anyone.

Regardless of that, guess who’s still a prejudice packed of idiots?

That’s right. The villagers.

As Naruto runs, a group of ladies are watching him, one who uses an obvious slur to denote Naruto’s Jinchuuriki status, and is only stopped from continuing by another in the group who reminds her that Naruto is still “The Young Lord”, son of the Hokage. Her mean words begrudgingly come to a stop.

Naruto then stops by a mask shop to purchase a fox mask, one similar to an ANBU mask, because who knows what path Naruto would have taken if the Akatsuki and the War hadn’t have come along. His sudden appearance scares the shop owner. And as Naruto is trying to purchase the mask, the shop owner tries to give it to him for free as the Hokage would scold him for making him pay. Naruto insists that he has to pay (because he is a sweet boy) but sees he doesn’t have the money so he promises to return to buy the mask. This seems like a sweet gesture and evidence that Naruto was raised to have manners and respect the villagers. They can’t see that, however. As soon as Naruto leaves, the shop owner tells his wife to throw salt and that if Naruto wasn’t “The Young Lord” they would have ran him out of the village years ago.

Note: Throwing Salt Over Your Left Shoulder Was Often Done To Get Rid Of Bad Luck. The Thought Is That The Devil, That Tricky Son Of A Bitch, Was Standing Behind You, Obviously Always On Your Left Side, And That The Salt Would Land In His Eyes, And Thus Distract Him From Causing Any Real Mischief.

I hate the villagers. Not only in Konoha, but in every village there is a Jinchurikki. They are scardy cat gross people.

Let’s break down the word and definition of Jinchuriki for you. Jinchūriki (人柱力, Literally meaning: Power of Human Sacrifice) are humans that have tailed beastssealed within them. They exhibit extraordinary powers due to the immense chakra reserves they possess. (via http://naruto.wikia.com/)

jinchuuriki

The words Power, Human, Sacrifice should mean something to these people. It means something to me!

Now, granted there have been a few, such as Gaara, who have been uncontrollable Jinchuuriki. (Gaara’s bloodlust was born from the prejudice his village (and family) had shown him. He was a bright a loving child before that malevolence and probably, if he had been built up with love, he could have battled Shakaku in a better manner, rather than letting his poison his mind.) Because the Tailed Beast are associated with wild uncontrollably power, it makes sense for people to be wary and maybe fearful of that power.

HOWEVER…

It’s terrible to hate someone for something they had no control in becoming. There aren’t many Jinchuurikis who CHOSE to be Jinchuurikis. Normally the ones who chose to be this are generally evil or misguided (Hello Madara and Obito!). So for those, where this was forced on them, usually as babies or small children, for a village of adults to treat a child this way is ridiculous.

But is it really ridiculous…as in abnormal?  Naruto, at its center, is a story of prejudice, preconceived or taught. Most of the characters were introduced to prejudice early on and it helped shaped the way they were raised. Naruto and the other Jinchuurikis, Sasuke and the Uchiha betrayal. Kakashi and his father’s suicide. On the other end of that, you have people who were introduced to prejudice and let it guide them; a young Neji comes to mind.

What irritates me about this is the way the characters who are the subject to this discrimination decide (and eventually fulfill) this unspoken requirement to gain the favor of the village or as Naruto says “Make the village acknowledge me. (Think about how heartbreaking that is for a moment. That a child has to—okay, I’m getting distracted.)

cryingnaruto

The only fault I’ve ever found with Naruto, besides NEJI FUCKING DYING (and ruining a ship I’d been planning like an arranged marriage since they were kids. NejiTen FIVE EVER!) is this one fact:

The underlying message here is this: It’s not the village who has to improve, it’s Naruto. It’s not the village who has to become better, be filled with better people, do fucking better…it’s Naruto. Naruto has to train with abandon, be a beacon of hope and tireless optimism for himself and those around him, have the ethical stamina of a saint, almost die, and save the village, and it’s only then, only then, after he puts his life on the line for a village that has hated him since he was BORN, do they finally acknowledge him.

narutoein

Do you understand my anger?

Understand what I’m saying. The village never ever ever got over their prejudice for Naruto as a Jinchuuriki. It only became a secondary factor because he saved them.  That’s the condition. What Kishimoto is telling us is the ONLY way the villagers accepted Naruto is basically because…they had to. They are somewhat decent people, you don’t outwardly hate your savior. You can still be scared, resentful, full of hate…but you can’t do it out in the open now.

This message ties into so many other facets of life. People, every day, are hated for things they cannot control, whether it be the color of their skin, their sexuality, what gender they identify with, what language they speak. Kishimoto is letting you in on a secret. People will hate you for those things and there is nothing you can do to get through to them, no matter how sweet, kind, noble, ethical, upstanding or righteous you are. People will still hate you. And sometimes for that hate to be set aside, you have to damn near throw yourself on a sword for them to acknowledge you.

And I hate that it had to happen to Naruto. It shown in a way that makes you cry (because boy did I cry at the end of the Pein arc), it’s supposed to make you feel all warm and bubbly, but when you start peeling back the layers, you see…

hokage

Nothing really changed. The hate remained. Naruto went on to be one of the Heros of The War and eventually Hokage, which changed him in the eyes of the youth (as exhibited in Naruto the Last). But it only reinforced one thing. Naruto, in the end, STILL had to prove himself, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he wasn’t “the devil” to gain the love of the villagers. It is my opinion that even AFTER the Pein arc, that making him Hokage would have been out of the question. With his victory during the Fifth Shinobi War, he reinforced the notion that in order to be accepted, he had to excel leagues in front of his peers.

The villagers are terrible people.

 

 

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IMG_20151226_150942  Jade is an author, blogger with ToySldrs and BankaiAndChill, as well a vlogger on Youtube. Check her out on her channel at Bankai and Chill.

The Magic of Anime Openings

 

Look, I hated Distance. It’s a song by Long Shot Party. It’s borderline ridiculous, borderline campy, and borderline way too loud.  The first time I heard it, I immediately turned the volume down and stared at my screen like, this, THIS, is the follow-up to the bad ass, make you get out of your seat, Hero’s Comeback???

 

 

 

 

But after 25 episodes of hearing it, it became one of my favorite. I rock OUT to Distance, okay? I mean I get it. I GET IT. Repetition is the breeding ground for adoration. I get it. It would be remiss of me to not get it. Anime openings are a unique thing. While American cartoons usually have this overarching background instrumental, one opening fits all, what you see is not what you’re going to get because it always stays the same opening, Anime openings are flexible, they are fluid, and most of all, and they are intrinsically in tuned with pop culture. On top of that, they actually keep the watcher aligned with what’s going on in that particular arc (or season depending on what show and what era you are watching. For example, Sailor Moon gives you openings depending on the season. With the season, you’ve got the same song, Moonlight Densetsu, but a different visual opening letting you know what is going on and who’s going to be added to the cast this season. Note: This changes with the last season where Sailor Stars Song (Makenai) is used instead of Moonlight Densetsu.)

So what’s so magical about them? It’s multifaceted.

  1. As mentioned before, with each new opening, you’re getting a glimpse of what’s to come. Anime had a drastically different look than most cartoon styles. This goes double for their opening (and endings). They are cinematic in a sense. There are a lot of moving parts, symbolism and opportunities to zone in on what little foreshadowing hints they give. Hell, sometimes it takes thirty views to catch everything in an opening AND make it make sense to what’s going on.
  2. They are just flat out entertaining in themselves. There is a lot of energy put into these openings. The openings are crafted so well that there are times you can watch it thirty times in a row and enjoy it just as much as the episode. (This counts for the endings as well.) I find myself mourning not seeing a particular opening again while battling my excitement to watch the new one.
  3. Music is emotional. So, back to when I said I hated Distance at first. While Hero Come Back was this happy, moving, embattling, echoing war cry welcoming our hero back as he grew from small child to battle hardened teenager. Distance on the other hand highlighted the reunion of Team Seven. The new Team Seven, consisting of Naruto, Sakura (and Sai), meet their old their old teammate in a very emotional run in. Distance captures all of that (and the connection that Naruto and Sakura will have to Sasuke the ENTIRE rest of the anime) with a simple “YOU ARE MY FRIEND.”

So with that said, my emotions (which mirror Team 7) are tied into hearing Distance. Hearing the song, (which I love now) triggers, one, flashes of the actual opening—Naruto and Sasuke slowly drawing towards each other, not with a look of hate in their eyes but…fate? IDK), triggers whatever emotions I had WATCHING the arc, and three one of the main theme of the series, FOILS AND FRIENDSHIP.
Although I’m using Naruto as an example, the same could be said for (picks an Anime series out of a hat) Inuyasha…Bleach, Fairy Tail, One Piece, ect, ect. There is magic (and marketing—just imagine what having your song continuously play as an opening of a popular anime does to sales…whoa) in this.

Speaking, and I’m probably speaking for everyone when I say that, Anime Openings (and Endings) should be a complete genre of music.

Here are a few of my favorite openings (randomly because the list is in the hundreds)

Haruka Kanata – Asian Kung Fu Generation (Naruto)

 

Ichirin No Hana – High and Mighty Color (Bleach)

 

 

One Half – Makoto Kawamoto (Rurouni Kenshin)

 

Sailor Stars Song (Makenai!) – Kae Hanazawa (Sailor Moon)

 

Brightdown –  Tamaki Nami  (D.Grayman)

 

Tell me whats YOUR favorite Anime opening? Matter of fact, tell me one you hated and eventually ended up LOVING! I promise, I won’t judge.

 

 

Jade Brieanne is a Durham, North Carolina resident from Fayetteville, North Carolina. She is a cultural arts blogger on ToySldrs.com and a vlogger with ToySldrsTV and Jade, Please Youtube channel. She is also the author of THE HALO OF AMARIS, the first in the HALATION trilogy. 

 

Mr. Six

Good things come to those who wait. Good things come to those who wait until the PERFECT moment to ditch their insanely popular boy band, ditch their insanely popular record label, go back to their home country and BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR about ten times hotter than they could have EVER become if they’d stay.

Who am I talking about? Mr. Galaxy Fan Fan himself, Wu Yifan.

kriskirs mr six

If you’re into K-Pop (or the K-Pop drama that rivals Love and Hip Hop) then you’ve probably heard of Wu Yifan, or better known as Kris. As the leader of the EXO-M subunit of EXO, Kris was apart of one of fasting rising groups to fame that Seoul has ever seen. EXO is a household name, all across Asia, Europe and any other place that has access to YouTube and Naver.

Well, Kris WAS the leader of EXO-M.

Now Kris is

  1. An actor
  2. Singer
  3. Model (for Vogue, Beats by Dre, Bazaar ect)
  4. INTERNATIONAL CELEBRITY that is in good with the Kardashians and Jenners. So you know…that’s a big deal. Fan Bing Bing thinks he’s cute. I know she does.
  5. Al around precious being with an Instagram account that slays.

kriswufan mr six

Crazily enough, considering how powerful and popular EXO (in comparison to how shitty SM is) two of his former bandmates followed his leadership and jumped the EXO ship, too, both now staring in movies, dramas and releasing their own solo albums.

 

ztao mr six luhandelte

So what is Mr. Steal Your Fame doing now? RELEASING A BAD ASS MOVIE, THAT’S WHAT.

Introducing, Mr. Six.

Mr. Six (Chinese: 老炮儿) (previously known as Fading Wave) is an upcoming 2015 Chinese action comedy film directed by Guan Hu and written by Dong Runnian. It stars Feng Xiaogang, Kris Wu, Zhang Hanyu, Li Yifeng,and Xu Qing.[1] Mr. Six is scheduled to be released on December 24, 2015 in China.[2]The film will close The 72nd Venice International Film Festival in an out-of-competition screening.[3] Main cast member Feng Xiaogang and Li Yifeng are scheduled to attend the festival on Sept 12, 2015. Mr. Six was selected to be screened in the Special Presentations section of the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival.[4]

Look at this shit, man. It looks SO BAD ASS. I can’t wait for subs!

Why Are You Even Here?

ericnah-600x200

Disney characters are built to please. They are engineered by snatching key characteristics from fables and tales, balling them up and spitting them back out, glossy and loveable and chock full of good morals. Like walking fortune cookies or something.

So it amazes me that even with most of the negative stripped away and I don’t know, shipped to Donald Trump’s house where he uses them to glue his hair to his head, that some Disney characters are still useless and…

well…bitches.

Let’s take a look at a few of them.

 

Mowgli

Mowgli-Jungle-Book

 

Yeah, I said it. Mowgli.

We all know the story of Mowgli and  The Jungle Book. Mowgli, a young non-descript boy from some region in India, is orphaned and found by Bagheera, who takes him to a mother wolf to be raised with her cubs.

That’s basically the end of Mowgli’s bitchassness.

Ten years pass after we see infant Mowgli being given to wolves as some sort of social experiment in raising children and I’m surprised he wasn’t more fucked up than he appeared. THEY LEFT A HUMAN WITH WOLVES.(Might have made sense to take him back to the man village TEN YEARS AGO, but you know, Rudyard Kipling/ Disney is more concerned with plot than SENSE.  My question is  how did he not end up as dinner? I would have ate his ass.)

Anyways, as ten-year old Mowgli is horepla–wait…wolfplaying?–around with his “brothers” the wolf tribe clan (ain’t nothing to f’wit) gets word that an OG is back in the Jungle! That’s right. Shere Khan, the man eater.

sherekhan

Now I got 32 flavors of that bootylious bubblegum. Raspberry, grape, cherry, come and get this honey bun.

 

So out of some kind of divine illogical heroism that trumps the fact that Shere Khan would EAT THEM TOO, the entire jungle gets together to send Mowgli back to wherever the hell he came from. Which is probably NOT where he came from, it just happens to have human people there whereas everyone suddenly remembers he’s NOT A FUCKING WOLF.

(I would like to make the case that if Mowgli does make it back to the man-village, he’s been set up for a life of extreme poverty, seeing he has no damn parents, family, relatives or friends, no social skills, or any skills that would assist him in making a way for himself and NOT STARVING TO DEATH. They also forget he does not have the ability to INTERACT WITH HUMANS BECAUSE THEY LEFT HIM WITH WOLVES, BEARS, ELEPHANTS, APES, VULTURES and a PANTHER DURING THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF HIS FORMATIVE YEARS.)

However, that is better than being mauled to death and then eaten so its still a good plan?

Bagheera, the black panther who decides to look out for his fellow creature of color, volunteers (or is forced…I don’t remember) to take Mowgli’s scrawny ass back to the man village.

bagheera

I’m glad they made the black guy have some sense.

 

You know what? Now that I’m thinking about it, the Jungle Book is RIFE with bitchass characters because here comes Baloo’s USELESS, lazy, gutless ass. Louie wasn’t much either,  damn sure wasn’t going to get anywhere with them vultures, not sure what kind of lesson the elephants imparted on him. At least the wolves cared for him. Kaa spent most of his screentime either high or trying to get people high. (Ya’ll can believe that hypnosis thing if you want. His eyes were wonky and he was feeding people shrooms and….okay, nevermind).

mowgli high

Mowgli CHARGED UP

 

BUT LIKE I SAID. Just about everybody BUT Bagheera was worthless.

Uhm, sidenote: Here is some weird Bagheera/ Nala fan art. I don’t know…thought you might enjoy it?

bagheera nala

Okay! So! To make a long story short, Mowgli is somehow convinced  by the alcoholic deadbeat in disguise, Baloo, that he is not a wolf, but a bear and is “adopted” by Baloo as a younger brother/son.

baloo

Mowgli has to learn to make better decisions, man. Nothing about Baloo screams parental figure. THERE IS A TIGER IN THE JUNGLE TRYING TO KILL YOU AND you floating down the river with the bear equivalent of the offspring of The Dude from ’The Big Lebowski’  and Homer Simpson if that was biologically possible.

The Jungle Book

It all ends well, I guess, because after they accidentally defeat Shere Khan with the help of GOD (because I figure he was tired of the unprecedented level of idiocy going on in his jungle), Mowgli and Baloo decide to stay together because…I guess it makes sense???? (to someone who is well versed in NOT making sense.)

And as the idiot wolf  kid, mentored by a panther, tutored in the art of dance under an Ape, and well acquainted with tiger spookery, sets up this shiftless inept bear to be a father, guess what Mowgli sees?

A damn girl.

shanti

…give me all your money and give me all your residuals…

 

Just like that, whole adoption thing is off the table. F’ Baloo, F’ Bagheera, F’ all of the Jungle because Mowgli sees a girl. I don’t even think he said goodbye. He looked back alright before he waddled into a village –(inhales: which I’m sure isn’t going to adopt him and again, he has no trade, speaks what he THINKS is English –its probably a collection of roars and grunts because HE WAS RAISED BY ANIMALS—is dirty, he stinks, he makes bad decisions and he doesn’t have a loyal bone in his body.)

Mowgli probably died that winter.

If not, they should have let Shere Khan eat his ass for being an asshole.

And let the record be known I am NOT talking about live action Mowgli because gaht-toe-mighty, I’dda lived in a few trees myself to get a piece of that.

 

reallifemowgli

 

Prince Eric

Yeah. I said it! And?

Look. I LOVE Prince Eric. I do. I absolutely adore him. He was fine. Not Aladdin or his Daddy fine, but…

strongneck

He was fine as hell, with those broad shoulders and that dark lovely hair and that wonderfully lightly toasted skin and those eyes, god, those EYES! And, if you want to take this a step further, I’m pretty sure Henry Cavill of Superman fame is his real life doppleganger.

henry

There is so much fine in this picture…

 

And he was a pretty nice person, you know, he didn’t have an attitude problem, wasn’t pompous or arrogant or nasty or just plain evil as a Prince. He was really the guy down the street who works at the bagel shop with a penchant of giving you an extra container of cream cheese just because but who happens to also be a multi-billionaire trying to live like a normal person (cue Lifetime Movie!). That’s Eric.

Eric is also tragically useless and stupid.

He also represents what’s wrong with men. Simmer down. I’ll explain.

Look. If I ever become a deaf mute and you find me on the side of the beach or whatever, I’ll appreciate the clothes and food and company, BUT JESUS CHRIST MAN don’t start our first conversation with

YOU’RE THE ONE I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR! THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS! THE LOVE OF MY LIF–oh. 

ericnah
You can’t talk? Like foreal? Foreal foreal, you can’t talk? Ew. Nah, not you. But you know, come put on some clothes you pathetic miserable dysfunctional thing. You kind of look like you’re in love with me. Too bad. But you can live with me until I find the woman I’m actually looking for!”

Oh, don’t give me that look. You SAW the look on Ariel’s face when she thought Eric recognized her. HE SAW IT TOO since he was clutching at her like a 75% off Salvatore Ferragamo suit at Macy’s.

I mean LOOK

LOOKATHISAriel

AT THIS OH MY GOD

ericaint

LOOK AT THIS!

arieltooclose

Then he proceeds to flirt with her for two straight days–in Disney time that’s 12 years. I’m not talking he kind of flirts with her, I’m talking “I’m probably going to set you up as a side piece but treat you like my girl then deny you in public” flirts with her.

EricSidechick

Wait till you see my dick, OH GIRL

 

HE KNOW HE FINE! Don’t chuckle handsomely at me like that! Stop looking me in my eyes like that. WHY!? Why did you kiss me on my forehead! Don’t hold my hand! Why aren’t you returning my phone calls? WHY AREN’T YO–

Oh. Sorry. Flashback.

He eventually redeems himself by almost kissing her because he was in the mood (caused by a talking crab but whatever) and he ends up chucking his love flute into the ocean but because he’s stupid and you would THINK a Prince would have studied how to combat the dark arts or something, he lets Ursula steal him away. Because he’s useless.

darkarts

Wand-Lighting Charm! Smokescreen Spell! Dont’ just STAND there, Eric. DO SOMETHING.

 

I MEAN THE WOMAN WHO SAVED YOU PROBABLY SMELLED LIKE A GIANT SHRIMP BECAUSE SHE’S A GIANT SHRIMP MY GOD YOU IDIOT!

save

A good kind of fish smell, tho…

He did ram a ship into Ursula’s side in the end so I mean…I guess he’s okay.

And fine.

 

Simba

YEAH I SAID IT! FIGHT ME!

simbakid

ALL CHILDHOOD STARS MATTER

It’s no secret that I have a small amount of love for Simba. Maybe it was his voice actor. Jonthan Taylor Thomas was weirdly attractive squinty eyed older boy who plagued my childhood and would not leave. He also didn’t star in Mighty Ducks. Don’t ask me why that matters it just does. MIGHTY DUCKS WAS IMPORTANT.

Or maybe it was his adult voice actor, Paul…Eric? Math…Brod…Sarah Jessica Parker’s husband. I mean, honestly. The King of the Jungle (another issue, ain’t no lions in the jungle right but okay) sounds like the soccer dad who brings gluten free PB&J’s to Saturday morning games.

simbaadult

You sound like your balls never dropped, Simba. Why are you smiling?

 

Look, just everything about Simba rubbed me the wrong way.

He didn’t deserve Nala, he didn’t deserve friends as cool and Timon and Pumba, he didn’t deserve Elton John crooning as he made lion love to his half sister, either. HE AIN’T DESERVE NONE OF IT.

nalasimba

Why?

Because he WAS partly responsible for his dad’s death and you can’t tell me otherwise!

muafasadead

BROTHER NOOOOOOOOOOO!

muafasasimba

GET UP, CRAIG!

 

Yeah, yeah. I get it. He was like…seven or something, but he was still a Prince. Prince Harry couldn’t even fart wrong as a child without the tabloids calling him Satan’s Ginger. There are pre-teen Princes around the world RULING because the previous king died. They had to grow up quick, why? Because since they were able to understand that they were princes (I estimate that cognitive recognition around two weeks old), they understood they had a duty and responsibilities. (Which Simba understood because he had an entire three minute goofy ass song  while he pounced and stepped and nae-nae’d on his subject’s heads, talking about what he would do when he became King).

Let’s boil this down to a simple statement. The reason Simba ain’t shit is because he’s an idiot (a redeemable idiot if you’ve ever, I don’t know, seen the movie, but still an idiot).  You think they didn’t tell him about Scar’s evil ass? They did. He paid no attention in his classes (we can tell this because Simba barely knows ANYTHING about anything. Hell, he didn’t even understand the Circle of Life until he himself spit out a kid).

I mean LOOK AT YOUR UNCLE, kid! Does he look trustworthy? Have you seen him at court? Does he have an official title in your Dad’s kingdom? Does he have any known associates that you know personally OTHER THAN YOUR DAD? He called you a MONKEY! LOOK AT HIS EYES, BOY! HE EITHER ON THAT shit or he ain’t yo uncle!

scar

Might be purple, it might be pink…

 

And furthermore…

DIDN’T YOUR FATHER SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU NOT TO GO TO THE SHADOWY PLACE? DIDN’T HE? JUST THE DAY BEFORE?

 What’s wrong with you, Simba?!

Then you RUN? Screw your mother, screw Nala, ZaZu, people with CONNECTION TO THE KINGDOM YOU NOW RULE AND WHO COULD PROBABLY GIVE YOU VALUABLE ADVICE…nah. You run.

Took you hallucinating about the father you helped killed to get you to return.

NOT EVEN going to get into how he acted in the sequel. What a bitch.

jouvusimba

I’m a self-hating Lion King with limited objectivity because I’m going to judge you before I even get to know you! Then I’ll act like an ass the entire time which will distract me from seeing the REAL DANGER.

 

(Okay, word of advice, because I love you. BE VERY VERY CAREFUL when searching for pictures from Lion King. Don’t click on much. There’s a lot of things…going on in the Lion King fandom that’s…that’s…um, the R-rated version of this.)

what

Don’t ask me no qustions. PLEASE.

 

That’s it. I’ve expended myself with all of this rage. Did I miss anybody? Let me know. I got time today, cuz.