Johnson “Johnse” Hatfield is the true definition of a ain’t shit nigga. You don’t know how Johnse Hatfield is? Do you know who the Hatfield and McCoys are? You’re kidding me, right.

If you aren’t an avid watched of the History channel, you should be, especially if you aren’t familiar with one of the most epic, yet brutal family feud ever fought on American soil. The Hatfield and McCoy feud was a fight that lasted over three decades, (and even longer if you count the actual disdain the two families generally had for each other) claiming lives up and down the W. Virginia / Kentuky border. Centered on a stretch of land called the Tug Fork, the two families began a bloody feud began with the murder of a Union solider on the McCoy side, but escalated over the ownership of a pig. What can I say, pigs were very serious business back then.

But, it didn’t get “good” (and that’s a horrible word to use but nonetheless) until a beauty from the McCoy side fell for a charming Hatfield.

He done gave her “Them Eyes”

Roseanna McCoy was the daughter of the McCoy patriarch Old Ran’l McCoy, while Johnse was the son of the Hatfield patriarch, Devil Anse. Yeah, we’ve got us a modern day Romeo and Juliet, except without the poison, the three day courtship between teenagers, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Now here is why Johnse ain’t shit. Besides the fact that he was seeing several other women besides Roseanna, after “getting busy” with her, he convinces her to come back to his place, under the guise that he was in love with her and would be marrying her, where she would eventually run across Devil Anse. He, of course, doesn’t like her staying there, she was a McCoy, but his wife did. And because Vicey Hatfield was a smart woman and knew her son was a AIN’T SHIT NIGGA, she put her foot down and told Johnse and Roseanna they couldn’t wed. That led to her going back home, but low and behold, she was pregnant with Johnse’s child. Well, she couldn’t very well stay in a McCoy house while pregnant with a Hatifeld’s child, not in the middle of a feud, so she goes to her Aunt’s house.

While there, Johnse decides that he still wants to “be” with Roseanne and goes to see her. Roseanna’s brother’s wasn’t havent that. Seriously. They tried on SEVERAL occasions to knock Jonhse’s head from his body for using their baby sister the way he was (she was a virgin when she met Johnse, and virginity was a VERY SERIOUS thing). They finally get their hands on him and arrested Johnse, telling Roseanna he had warrants (typical) and they were taking him to jail (when they really was going to drag his sorry ass to the middle of the woods and put a couple hundred bullets in him.)

Silly and in love, Roseanna runs to Devil Anse and tells him, thus stopping the execution of Johnse. For his sake, she betrays her family, becomes a black sheep and a traitor for the father of her child. And what does this sorry shifty no good nigga do? Leaves her. Says he’s too scared of the McCoy clan and their attempts on his life to be with her (knowing DAMN well he never actually meant to marry her in the first place).

But I’m not done. After he leaves her, mind you pregnant and alone, he ends up marrying her cousin, Nancy, another McCoy. Guess his bitch ass wasn’t all that scared, huh?

Roseanna contracts the measles, loses the baby. She eventually (after the marriage of Johnse and Nancy) dies of heartbreak.

Now Roseanna was a stupid woman in love, I’ll admit that, falling for a known playboy and going against her family because of her love for him. But I’ll tell you this. This wouldn’t have gone down if they had a Facebook.

Roseanne McCoy sees a good looking Johnse Hatifeld at the voting fair. “He’s cute”, she says as she picks up her phone and looks at his facebook profile.

“Johnson aka Johnse Hatfield is in a relationship with Farlene Willow.”

Johnse Hatfield writes on Farlene Willow’s wall “I love you babe.”

Two days later…

“Johnson aka Johnse Hatfield is single”

A month later

“Johnson aka Johnse Hatfield is in a relationship with Scarlet Jackson”

Johnse writes on Scarlet Jackson’s wall.

“We gone be together for 5-five ever”

A day later…

“Johnson aka Johnse Hatfield is singlele”

“Johnson aka Johnse Hatfield is in a relationship with…”

Roseanna heads snaps up from her phone, a disgusted sneer flashing across her pretty lips. “Is this nigga…ah hell nah.” She looks up and see’s Perry Cline at the market set up by the shooting galley, pointing at a fresh baked Ham. She raises her delicate brow in contemplation, appraising him from afar… “He’s kinda cute, old…but cute…”

She looks at Jonhse from over her shoulder as she walks towards Perry, closing her Facebook and forgetting him and her second long attraction to him.

SEE. Facebook be saving.

Don’t look stupid now, shoulda cleared your facebook wall. Smh…you ain’t shit, Johnse.

I-M-P P-O-P-P-A! No info for the …okay, I’ll stop. But if you think about it, it’s an amazingly accurate moniker for Tyrion Lannister. For those who aren’t fans of Game of Thones, I’ll help you out. Game of Thrones is a series of novels by George. R.R. Martin, spanning 6 books. (I’m only on book 3 so I don’t know if the series ends with 6 or goes on.) The wildly popular series of books, based on a fictional world of Westeros and surrounding cities that contains the principle capital King’s Landing, The Wall, and Vaes Dothrak (the city across the Dothraki Sea), is a medieval tale about lineage and family connections. It was adapted into a television show April, 2011 and had taken the world by storm. And as a woman of fandom-lore, you can tell how popular or ingenious a show is by the amount of activity in it’s fandom, and boy is it busy.

The most peculiar thing about this show is the cast. With a legendary cast including Lena Headly and Sean Bean, it has managed to use it’s talent to lure audiences in and keep them there. The Starks, The Lannisters, The Tyrells, The Tullys, The Baratheon, all of these famililes populate the world of Game of Thrones and from each of these familes we get to see how they interact and create drama amongst one another. With that we are subject to polar emotions of love then hate, as each of the characters in the show take you through the epic battle for the Iron Throne.

In this array of intriguing characters, many stand out. There is Sansa Stark, held captive in the Red Keep as the bethrothed of the new inheritor of the Iron Throne, the vapidly annoying, I’m Here to Fuck Shit Up, King Joffery. Or Jon Snow, a bastard of the now deceased but forever loyal Hand of The King, who is fighting a different type of battle on The Wall; a 300 mile wide, 700 feet tall barrier of solid Ice that protects everything South of the Wall from whatever it is that is North of the Wall. Then there is Daenerys Targaryen, the last of the blood of the dragon and now the Mother of Dragons, the last line of Royalty before Robert Baratheon seized the thone.

When you play a game of thrones you win or you die.

.

But of all these characters the one that impresses and captivates the most would be the one you would least expect. Tyrion Lannister, House of Lannister of Casterly Rock, brother to the Queen Regent of the Realm, Uncle to the King of King’s Landing, Brother of Jamie Lannister, the King Slayer and son of Tywin Lannister, head of the House Lannister. And despite the impressive record of titles and connections that Tyrion Lannister holds, the most noteable and noticable attribute that Tyrion posses is that out of a family of tall, fair and beautiful people, Tyrion was born an imp. Disfigured and of stunted growth, Tyrion is the youngest of all the Lannister children, and the black sheep of the family, despite his remarkable wit and intelligence.

And that’s the amazing thing about Tyrion Lannister. Just like any other character in the show, he has had his trails. His mother died during his birth. His father and brother played an incredibly cruel trick on him after he’d fallen in love with a whore and married her. His father is hard-pressed to ackowledge him, and his sister treats him with thinly veild disgust and his brother overlooks him. But that doesn’t stop him. He has a rapidly sharp sense of self-depreciating humor and in situtions where the constant reminder of physical limitations would chop any other down, Tyrion manages to stand taller.

Every word he says is calculated and two steps ahead of his advisaries; he is likable and relatable, able to see situations through the eyes of those he is speaking with. When his phsyical appearance drives people away, his humor and down to earth nature sucks them in. He is able to talk himself out of any situation, his intelligence his strongest weapon; stronger than his sister’s cunningness, his brother’s prowess, his father’s power. Tyrion Lannister is his own man, free of the shroud of disullusioned farce that runs rampant in Westeros and the noble world.

Tyrion, the newly appointed Hand of the King understands the world and sees it as such; a gigantic battlefield of words and tactics, lies and whispers and eagarly knows how to spin it on it’s axis to play into his hands. This is why he is the capturing figure in this show. While other’s find ways to decieve, he finds ways to outsmart, and is always on his toes.

You’re quite good at being Hand. Jon Arryn and Ned Stark were good men. Honorable men. But they disdained the game and those who played it. You enjoy the game.
– Varys to Tyrion Lannister

Don’t believe me. Just watch the show. If you don’t have HBO…well looky here. Watch Game of Thrones Online
watch and tell me what you think of Tyrion Lannister.

So here we have it! Another leader female in the animated world that is a woman of color! So that automatically gets hearts pumping and minds racing! The fact that it’s a pretty cool show doesn’t hurt either. Legend of Korra finds a way to interlock and weave with Avatar the Last Airbender without being a duplicate. It is it’s own independent show and cast, they have a different goal and a completely different enemy. There is a lot that could be said about the show, but at the risk of throwing out spoilers for those who haven’t had the chance to see it yet, I won’t.

First so the Avatar the Last Airbender fans who haven’t seen LOK, here is a tie in so that you can see what’s been happening for the last 80 so odd years since the last episode of ATLA.

We can see here how the two worlds connect while still managing to be two dependent cast and plots.

Here is out Avatar, Korra of the Water Tribe.

Spunky, fiesty and independent, Korra is a foil to Aang, the Airbending Avatar. While Aang was lighthearted and bright, Korra is determined, and serious, even has a bit of a temper problem. She goes after what she wants, sometimes against the wishes and advice of those who wish to help her.

Tenzin

Tenzin is Aang’s youngest child ( I won’t tell you the mother, that’s a spoiler, but if you were watching ATLA, you’ll know). He is the one that is in charge of teaching Korra airbending, the one technique she doesn’t know and one of her two roadblocks to becoming a fullbodied Avatar. His seriousness matches and superceeds her, as he tries to teach her what she needs to know, while also trying to be the anchor she needs. He has her best interest at heart even if he can’t see the bigger picture.

Mako and Bolin

Mako and Bolin, Firebending and Earthbending (respectively) brothers who serve as Korra’s companions, both in the fight against the Equalist and as her Pro-Bending teamates.

Lin Beifong

Ooooh, how I love Lin Beifong. The daughter of Toph, she is the current head of the Metalbending Police force, taking over her mother’s position after she died. She has shown herself to be overly serious and grounded, taking an instant dislike to Korra from jump. But she has also shown herself to be maybe the most BADASS bender on the show yet. We like Lin Beifong, we like her a LOT.

And then we have Amon.

We don’t know much about Amon, except he hates Bending and Benders, and he doesn’t have a face. And he’s a party-pooper.

So those are our LOK stars, showing up on your televisions every Saturday morning. And how we know this show is going to be a success? We’ve got SHIPPING wars already! Everybody tune in, so we can have serious discussions and so I don’t feel like a grown woman giving lectures on Saturday Morning Cartoons!