How To: Cope while Twitter’s Servers are Down

I was sitting here tweeting my life away and suddenly thought about the server issue that happened. A scary thought came over me. What if it happened again? I’m not prepared. What would I (WE) do? Dear god, I have so many things to say. FUNNY RELATABLE THINGS!!! Sure I could text friends, but you can’t ReTweet texts. I panicked. Why would the internet gods give me this…this thing and just flat out take it away?? WHY??

A sharp pain ran right through my heart as if a bad chick ignored my DM. I almost dropped my phone in fear but then realized I needed it to tweet whenever the servers went back up. So what to do in the meantime? Here’s a few:

1. Cheat with your Work Husband/Wife. It’s not your fault. If twitter was working you’d be too busy being entertained to think about cheating. If he/she gets mad, Jack Dorsey, Noah Glass, Evan Williams & Biz Stone are the ones who messed everything up. Besides, it’s too hot for a relationship today anyway. They just make you hotter.

2. Read a bo… TV.

3. Make your own twitter. Yup. Some people would probably tell you to go get some fresh air, enjoy the day, take a walk, etc. Nah. It’s like 200 degrees. Stay inside and just make your own twitter bro.

4. Sleep. If all else fails, just go to bed. Usually its the cure for anything. Aids, stab wounds, hunger, etc. When you wake up, you tend to usually feel better. Next time the server goes down, get some rest. Everything will be fine when you get up.