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Why Superman is a Dweeb

You don’t have to be heavy in comics to know the whole Superman mythology. Sole survivor of Krypton who ends up on Earth as a baby and is taken in by a kind couple who raises him as their own. From there grows up to be 1 of our greatest hero’s. He then spends the rest of his life battling all types of villains (including arch nemesis Lex Luthor), stopping regular crimes and trying to maintain a relationship with the likes of one Louis Lane.

I have a lot of issues with the Superman story. For one, the costume. Aside from removing his glasses and rocking a Ricky Ricardo curl, there was no real disguise. You mean to tell me not ONE person could connect the two?





…..SERIOUSLY?!?

They had police Stations. Detectives on the payroll. Not one? You mean to tell me everyone in Metropolis was a stone cold idiot? How did they get jobs or handle heavy duty machinery? This really speaks volumes for their public school system. There’s no chance Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker could parade through the streets without a mask and not be recognized in minutes. Chicken Boo had better disguises than Superman and got caught every single time. It’s complete bullshit.

Next? Lex Luthor. The fact that Superman, a superior being with the ability to stop moving trains using just his bare hands actually had a regular nigga with money believe himself to be a worthy adversary is ridiculous. The FIRST time he mouthed off, I would’ve held him up by his chopper suit and punch a hole clean through his chest. Problem solved. Like how did they go back and forth for so long? Why wasn’t he dealt with? Because Superman is a dweeb, that’s why. Infact, there was no real reason for crime to still take place in Metropolis or anywhere in the world for that matter. Superman should’ve put the fear of god into the hearts of all mankind. Who was going to stop him? He’s motherfucking Superman. Bank Robberies? Nope. Snatch an arm out the socket and watch the crime rate drop 97% within the next 2-3 hours.

His love life. Dog, you’re Superman. Why is that a secret? I’m telling everyone and getting all the hoes. Wtf. Why would I have the ability to fly and still work a 9-5? If you can fly, you shouldn’t have to do anything regular people do. I’d dance in all the old Bad Boy videos and Suge Knight wouldn’t DARE tell me shit. The world would be a safer place because of me and I’d live like a Rockstar. The Fortress of Solitude would be the biggest bachelor pad known to mankind. I’d really just have sex, eat pizza, kill bad guys and twitpic my adventures. Yes, I’d tweet. I’d want you all to know how awesome I was.


With all this in his very grasp, he’d rather sit around and struggle to say something to Louis Lane. Louis isn’t even bad bro! There was no style of finesse with Superman. I’d seriously fight crime in sneakers and they’d never crease. Infact I would’ve been the ONLY person with concords and Michael Jordan wouldn’t take god out his thoughts and turn down the offer of taking picture with me ( Hi Chamillionaire! ). I’ll just end this rant here and sum it up by saying, Fuck Superman. Seriously. I wanna wrap my fist in a Kryptonite glove and punch him in the stomach then stuff him into a locker anytime he gets mentioned.

How To: Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

How To: Survive the Zombie Apocalypse


After really getting into AMC’s Sunday night hit “The Walking Dead”, I usually read up on other peoples opinions via Twitter as it takes place to see where I fit in vs other viewers take on situations as they occur in the hr long thriller. To my amazement, there’s really a lot of people who feel an overbearing sense of compassion. Weird. Or maybe, I’M the weirdo. I doubt it.

In a world full of Zombies, I don’t see the benefits of chasing after people when it could be potentially dangerous for the rest of the team. With the way some of you think, I can see how you wouldn’t make it very long. That sorta gave me the push I needed to finally coming around to write this guide. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. What makes ME, a simple clothing designer/blogger qualified to write a survival guide? Well, my qualifications are quite extensive. Ranging from hours of Resident Evil gameplay to careful analysis of movies such as Zombie Land. I mean really, who could possibly be a better choice for this? (Don’t answer that.) Now that we’ve cleared that up, lets set the scene:



You wake up. Drool all over your pillow, cold in your eyes and morning breath that could melt plastic. Time to slither out of your bed and reach for the scope, right? Wrong. Do me a favor and take a quick gander at the window behind you. See that? Yeah, holy shit. You. Are. Fucked. What do you do now??? Panic? Cry for your momma? (Don’t cry for your momma, by now she’s probably a zombie momma and there’s a good chance you’ll have to place a pencil clean through her temple at some point. Shit’s real out here now, b.)

1. Pack & Go:
You aren’t gathering supplies for a family get away, we’re talking survival folks. Pack light. Snacks, couple water bottles, 3 Tees (Preferably Toy Sldrs. Dope plug right?), Boots and extra underwear. Yes, underwear. Scratching your nuts because you got crabs from wearing dirty drawers for a week CAN and WILL get you killed out here. That goes for you too ladies. Being distracted by an itchy crotch can be the difference between noticing that zombie sneaking up on you or mindlessly thriller dancing through these streets.

2. ammuniT.I.on:
You’ll need guns & ammo. Unless you’re friends with T.I., your best bet is to hit any nearby police station as quickly as possible. If you live in the hood, local drug dealer works too. However before you even make it there you need a weapon to at least keep you covered. Quickest weapon you can possibly make is a spear. Broom/Mop stick + Biggest Knife you own + Duct Tape. The last thing you want is a hand to hand fight with a zombie who’s only goal is to scrape/cut/bite you. This will keep them at a distance (hopefully.) At least until you get a better weapon. Shovels work too.

3. Real G’s & Lasagna:
It should go without saying but, move quietly. The less attention you bring to yourself the better off you’ll be. This is why weapons like Spears, Knives, possibly Crossbows (I’m reaching here) are great since they can be reused as many times as needed. Especially in situations where you live in the Projects and have to make your way passed a hallway full of upset Baby Momma’s and their Fifty-leven zombie babies.

4. The Hideout:
I love New York, but the minute the Zombie Apocalypse hits, I’m getting the fuck outta here. The last thing you need is to be stuck in a major city with tons of people who may be potential zombies. Avoid large herds. A small town with lots of open land is your best bet. Have safe routes. Now you may not have Kevin McCallister’s talent for making traps, but digging a few deep holes around the area will at least slow them down. Save you some ammo too. Don’t forget to stock your new hideout with any food you can find.

5. A-Team:
So far so good. You got some clothes, weapons, food, and even somewhere to stay. Now you just need a team. Not everyone is about that Rambo life, and frankly with nothing else to do all day but survive and kill, you’ll need the company. Team up with any survivors you find along the way. That don’t have kids. Yes kids are cute and funny and awesome to watch grow up into well mannered adults. UH, WAKE UP NIGGA! The world has gone to shit. Kids are now useless. You don’t have time to help people and their booger nose filled kids. Lord help you if one of them gets lost and wants everyone to go search for them. Nuh uhh. Save yourself the trouble.

Don’t get it twisted though, your team is supposed to be more than just having people around to keep you sane. A helping hand is always useful. You need rational human beings that know in the new found Zombie World you might have to leave a kid behind for the sake of the squad. Shit happens. You happened to find lil’ timmy and he somehow wandered off from the team in the middle of the night? Guess who’s NOT going after him? *points to self* This guy. Or how about that one member with the bad knee slowing everyone down? You and your bad knee are getting left behind. It happens. How about that one person who just doesn’t seem to be pulling their weight most of the time? Wellllllll….

Hey, you get my point.

Follow these steps and I can guarantee you won’t die…………right away. Good luck!

Happy Birthday Toy Sldrs!

 

*yell sings in best Barry Manilow voice* LOOKS LIKE WE MADEEEE ITTTTT!!

 

 

No but seriously, we’ve come a long way. Usually I leave posts like these for more personal blogging, but shit, this calls for a celebration. I’m extremely proud of how far we’ve come compared to where the site started. A lot of you have seen it grow from this:

 

 

to well, what you’re currently looking at. Crazy huh?

 

I’ve never really went into any details as to how it all happened, but the site itself really came about from a few tee designs I created for myself. I had no intentions of selling them, it was just something to wear around the house and rock to handle small errands. Actually at one point I stopped designing all together. Cold turkey. I’d say about 2 years. Somehow I ended up meeting @reeality, who stayed on my case and with enough pushing, got me to jump back into it. Even at that point, I never gave much thought about actually running my own line. Being a fan of already established streetwear brands like The Hundreds, Crooks, Stussy and countless others, no way did I think I even belonged in the streetwear business. Not with power houses like that running around.

 

It wasn’t until this design (might look a bit familiar) did things really start rolling. There wasn’t anything incredible about it either. It was simply combining several things I liked into 1 image( Not much different than what I still do to this day). Iron Man, Nike SB Dunks and mimicking 1 of my fav. rappers sneaker pose. Still not fully on board with the idea, I was still timid when it came to truly showing anyone other than Ree. Eventually I took it to twitter and received such a positive response that it really helped push the idea forward that “I can do this.”

 

From there the researching started. I mean, you can’t start a line completely in the dark as to how you go about handling things, right? One thing I remembered was reading stories from different t-shirt lines telling viewers to be realistic. Not everyone blows right away. Or at all. I made sure to keep that in mind. Not in the back, but the front. It was no guarantee anyone would even buy a shirt, so I kept my goal very small.

 

Sell one. That’s it. If just ONE person out there would buy it, I’d feel like I accomplished something. I came up with the name, how I’d start marketing and waited. Then waited some more. Even more. A week went by. Nothing. All the while keeping in mind “it won’t happen right away, just keep at it.” It took 2 weeks before I got my first sale. I still remember it. Still can’t describe the feeling. Which tee was it? Well, this one:

 

That now makes 2 times Jay-z has entered his way into my designs (are we seeing a pattern here? ) The funny thing about this tee is its one of the few left that still refer to the line as ‘Toy Soldiers’. The name was shortened for marketing purposes. (Toy Soldiers is far too common of a name.) I never changed it, even after the shorter name. So if you have one, you definitely own a throw back. After selling our first tee, it felt like the pressure was lifted. From there I pushed the goal to 5. Then 10, so on and so forth. Since then we’ve continued to grow and so has the support. Theres still a lot of ground to cover but I’m grateful for everyone who supports however they do it ( DEE!, ALL of the IC fam on twitter, Spence, Dray…basically everyone who supports. Theres alot of you.) Referring us to friends, links on your site, reblogs, retweets, purchasing something, you name it.

 

All of the following have played some role directly or indirectly aswell:

Yeah New York

Doctor’s Office

Imagein.Us

When Keeping it Real, Goes Right

A Tribe Called E

Brooklyn Rooftops

Vapors NYC

Robot Army

One Fifty One


FINALLY, the blog staff. Jade, Nia, Chrissy, Adam… you’re all dope. You don’t HAVE to do what you do, but you do it anyway. Even if I have to twist your arm sometimes. You all bring something different to the features section (plus it gives me something to read other than what I type lol) It’s appreciated. Thank you. I was supposed to wrap it up here but forgot one last thing….our baby sldr is no longer a baby! He clearly deserves a name. And that name is…..

 

 

 

Sam. Sam Sldr. Sam, meet the viewers. Viewers, meet Sam Sldr. And with THAT said, same time next year? Hope so. Remember to check the 1yr anniversary tee in the shop! $11 + shipp! kbye.