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I Hate Titanic.

Scar dies. Rico is sent to prison. The Iceland team in the Mighty Ducks lose. Drago is defeated. Hell, even Jenny from Forrest Gump gets aids and passes away. But Rose? ROSE? No, that bitch gets to live out her entire life well into her 80s (90s? 100?)

Lets rewind.

She meets Jack, the poor commoner on board the Titanic. Within a 3 day span a ‘romance’ builds and Rose is throwing the pussy at him 90mph like Randy Johnson at the mound in the bottom of the 9th. Oh did I mention she was engaged this entire time?? Trife. I still can’t quite figure out why people call his a love story? What love b?

Lets keep it funky. Rose was engaged to marry Caledon Hockley and got some side dick while on the cruise. The ship crashes, which by the way, I’m sure it was meant to kill JUST her. Jack gets hold of some debri for them to float on in order to live. This technically makes 2 times he saved her life. (She attempted suicide earlier in the film)

She fake likes him and if they both make it back to land, everyone would know she was a 2 timing ho. Here lies the problem. To keep her lil affair hidden, she lets him die in the water and kept that shit a secret for the majority of her existence. She goes on to live an awesome life with a *new* husband, kids, and even grandkids. And who does she finally tell her story to? A fuckin 10 year old who won’t remember that shit after the next episode of Pokemon smh. The fact Poseidon didn’t throw a trident into that raft before she could make it back to land is a mystery to me. Maybe she fucked him too, who knows.

What I do know is you’re wild foul, Rose.



FOUL.

Happy Birthday, Toy Sldrs!


Really happy to say we’re now officially 2 years old! Unlike year 1 where I did a long speech, I’ll keep this brief. The amount of support we’ve gotten from our first year to now lets me know I’m definitely doing something right. We’ll all continue to push forward. Product wise, content wise, etc. Major shoutout to both Nia & Jade for holding down the blog. You guys are great. And anyone that either stops by to read something, send in pics, buy clothing, or just pass the brand around to friends via word of mouth or however,  Thank you. All of you. Happy Birthday, Sam!

How To: Spot Different Durag Types & Their Danger Levels

I can’t begin to stress how important this is. Durag capes mixed with warm weather have claimed more lives than AIDS, gang violence, police brutality and overall bad health combined. While this blog can’t promise to keep you safe, it will however, keep you informed. Each type of durag has been carefully broken down by abilties and overall fighting power, similar to Pokemon. But unlike those creatures, the only thing you can catch messing with these will most likely be a bullet.

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How To: Cope while Twitter’s Servers are Down


I was sitting here tweeting my life away and suddenly thought about the server issue that happened. A scary thought came over me. What if it happened again? I’m not prepared. What would I (WE) do? Dear god, I have so many things to say. FUNNY RELATABLE THINGS!!! Sure I could text friends, but you can’t ReTweet texts. I panicked. Why would the internet gods give me this…this thing and just flat out take it away?? WHY??


A sharp pain ran right through my heart as if a bad chick ignored my DM. I almost dropped my phone in fear but then realized I needed it to tweet whenever the servers went back up. So what to do in the meantime? Here’s a few:

1. Cheat with your Work Husband/Wife. It’s not your fault. If twitter was working you’d be too busy being entertained to think about cheating. If he/she gets mad, Jack Dorsey, Noah Glass, Evan Williams & Biz Stone are the ones who messed everything up. Besides, it’s too hot for a relationship today anyway. They just make you hotter.

2. Read a bo…..watch TV.

3. Make your own twitter. Yup. Some people would probably tell you to go get some fresh air, enjoy the day, take a walk, etc. Nah. It’s like 200 degrees. Stay inside and just make your own twitter bro.


4. Sleep. If all else fails, just go to bed. Usually its the cure for anything. Aids, stab wounds, hunger, etc. When you wake up, you tend to usually feel better. Next time the server goes down, get some rest. Everything will be fine when you get up.