Random thoughts, rants, editorials, anime, miscellaneous bullshit and everything else under the sun.
Recently, in a tear induced frenzy from both watching my copy of Hunger Games for the 3rd time this month, re-reading Catching Fire for the 2nd time, and making a whole lot of hoopla about the cast of Hunger Games returning to set this past Tuesday to start the filming of Catching Fire, I tweeted through my excitement, as I’m known to do, only to be thwarted with mention after mention.
Of what?
Battle Royale.
If you read last years guide, you should be somewhat familiar with the idea of Cuffin’ Season. [ You can always refresh your memory here ] However, instead of just giving you the same exact calendar, many new factors had to be taken into account. New dangers you need to be aware of that threaten your Cuffin’ likelihood. In the past year I’ve had time to observe, study, and keep note of these events. I even called in a few people to assist on speaking on some of these dangers. So with no further adieu…
The Official 2012 Cuffin’ Season Calendar
Scar dies. Rico is sent to prison. The Iceland team in the Mighty Ducks lose. Drago is defeated. Hell, even Jenny from Forrest Gump gets aids and passes away. But Rose? ROSE? No, that bitch gets to live out her entire life well into her 80s (90s? 100?)
Lets rewind.
She meets Jack, the poor commoner on board the Titanic. Within a 3 day span a ‘romance’ builds and Rose is throwing the pussy at him 90mph like Randy Johnson at the mound in the bottom of the 9th. Oh did I mention she was engaged this entire time?? Trife. I still can’t quite figure out why people call his a love story? What love b?
Lets keep it funky. Rose was engaged to marry Caledon Hockley and got some side dick while on the cruise. The ship crashes, which by the way, I’m sure it was meant to kill JUST her. Jack gets hold of some debri for them to float on in order to live. This technically makes 2 times he saved her life. (She attempted suicide earlier in the film)
She fake likes him and if they both make it back to land, everyone would know she was a 2 timing ho. Here lies the problem. To keep her lil affair hidden, she lets him die in the water and kept that shit a secret for the majority of her existence. She goes on to live an awesome life with a *new* husband, kids, and even grandkids. And who does she finally tell her story to? A fuckin 10 year old who won’t remember that shit after the next episode of Pokemon smh. The fact Poseidon didn’t throw a trident into that raft before she could make it back to land is a mystery to me. Maybe she fucked him too, who knows.
What I do know is you’re wild foul, Rose.
FOUL.
Power ‘Ship, because what is a powerful drama without powerful relationship? Now many of you are asking, “What is a Ship?” Most of you reading this are of fandom lore, and understand fandom terminology (Hey Tumblrverse!). See there are those who are fans of a show and then there are those who live in it’s fandom.Where you might discuss the show for a few minutes after the season finale, the fanatics of a fandom will discuss a show for YEARS after it goes off the air, ad naseum.